Thank God For Cosmo Quizes
by starbuckjade
Summary: "Jane..." Maura announced in a hushed whisper "I think we're dating."


**Hey everyone. I'm so sorry for disappearing on you...but I won't go into excuses. Instead I bring you this. And...if any of you would like to vote for me or my stories, I've been nominated in the Rizziles Fan Awards. You can vote for me, 3 times per email address, by visiting rizzles fanawards dot wordpress dot com **

**And a big thank you to everyone for your support and wonderful reviews in my absence. I've really missed you guys! Anyway, enjoy.**_  
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"Jane...I think we're dating." Maura announced in a hushed whisper.

The brunette, who was dosing against her friend's shoulder, gave no response. Maura huffed silently and nudged Jane until the detective was startled awake.

"Maura? What? Mmmm...sorry I fell asleep on you. "The brunette yawned, completely forgetting to cover her mouth as she did so."What's up? We get a call?" she asked, her voice thick from sleep, what little she had gotten against the blonde's shoulder.

Maura frowned. "Jane, this is serious. I need you to pay attention."

Jane nodded and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She tucked her legs up and turned to sit cross-legged in front of her best friend."Okay, I'm ready."

"I think we're dating."

Jane groaned. "I take it back, I'm not ready."

"I'm serious, Jane. Did you know your mother suggested couples counseling for us?"

"Yeah. She said the same thing to me. There should be a rule against divorced people promoting marriage counseling."

"Both Detective Frost and Korsak went out of their way to get us back together and mend our relationship."

"That's only because they hate seeing us fight. And anyway, I'm glad they did."

"Because life's too short to waste time fighting with those closest to you?"

"Well, yeah, that too. But I was thinking more along the lines of, no matter how much a trust those two to watch my back and keep me safe on a daily basis...I'm really the only one I trust to keep you safe."

The blonde's eyes teared up a little at the thought. "Oh Jane."

The brunette shrugged, sliding to sit beside the blonde again and stretching her feet out onto the coffee table. She caught Maura's warning glare and promptly put her feet on the ground. Instead she tugged Maura a little closer, with an arm around her shoulder. "Anyway, we're not dating, we're just close friends."

"Actually, Jane..." Maura started as she pulled her laptop from beneath the coffee table.

The detective sighed. "Just tell me this isn't a Cosmo quiz."

Maura looked affronted. "Of course not." She pulled up a web page. "See? It lists ten ways you can tell if you're dating someone. I think we should go through each one."

Jane gave her friend a puzzled look. "Why is this so important to you?"

"I like to know where I stand."

"Fine," Jane answered, quietly grumbling, "But you're standing where you always are...with me."

The blonde hid her grin and cleared her throat delicately. "Sign number one: Your friend changes their Facebook status to 'In a Relationship'."

Jane snorted. "Well I guess we're just friends then, I don't even have a Facebook page."

"It's not an all or nothing premise Jane, not everything on this list may apply to our situation." After her friend nodded and waved a hand for her to continue, Maura paused. "I've always wondered why you don't have a Facebook account."

Jane rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously. "Let's just say that I did a lot of wild things when I was younger. Things that were videotaped and photographed. And I know there are at least a few people just waiting to tag naked photos of me, which is why I will never have a Facebook page."

"Do you have copies of these photos?" Maura asked with an innocent look on her face.

"Maura!" Jane huffed in dismay, giving the blonde a gentle shove.

"Moving on," the blonde intoned as she scrolled down the page. "Sign number two: You use phrases like, 'Hi, it's me,' when calling and your partner immediately knows who it is." The blonde frowned. "That could also be a sign of overuse of the call display feature on your phone..."

"Well if that's a sign, then I'm dating you, Frost, Korsak, Tommy, Frankie, and my mother."

"I had no idea you were so promiscuous, Jane," the blonde replied with a smile.

Jane rolled her eyes. "I was dressed as a prostitute when we first met, Maura, what did you really expect?"

They shared a look for a moment before they both burst out laughing.

"Sign number three: You casually recount your weekend activities to colleagues on Monday morning with, 'Oh, we ordered pizza and then we watched the game.'"

"Well when I use that particular line, I'm usually meaning my whole family watched the game."

"I watch the games with you too," Maura corrected.

Jane nodded. "You're family."

Maura beamed at the remark. "Plus, didn't you tell Barry that we were going to curl up and watch TV tonight?"

"Uh yeah, I guess I did say that."

"Sign number four: You no longer get sweaty palms in nervous anticipation of seeing that special someone."

Both women held up their palms, and Jane called it, "Guilty." They shared a smile. "What's next..." Jane read on, "You know you're in a relationship when you spend an afternoon watching the game when, truth be told, you don't even like watching the game." Jane looked over at the blonde for response.

"What? I really do like watching sporting events with you." Maura insisted.

Jane glanced at the screen again before looking into her friend's eyes. "Yeah but replace the word 'game' with 'yoga' and we get a green light on that one too."

"Jane! I thought you liked yoga," Maura protested.

"What gave you that idea?" Jane made a face; she was not a fan of yoga at all. At least it had come in handy during that one case, though.

"You go with me every time I ask."

The detective rolled her eyes. "Well there's your answer, I go with you because you ask me to." She quickly moved on to the next item on the list, "Sign number six: You know you're in a relationship when your mate says, 'You wore that same outfit yesterday, right?' and you don't even bother to flub for an excuse."

"Well that's true, but it's usually due to a stake out or an all-nighter." Maura replied.

"I don't think I've ever seen you wear the same thing twice. Besides, you hate all my clothes anyway, excuses are useless."

"I like this shirt," the blonde corrected, tugging on the end of the well-worn Boston Police Academy T-Shirt she was currently wearing.

Jane rolled her eyes and pointed to the computer for Maura to continue; wondering whether wearing each other's clothes had made the list.

It had.

"Sign number seven: You wear his hockey jacket not because it's cutesy and romantic but because the AC is on over-drive and you're shivering."

Jane smirked. "So why are you wearing my shirt, Doctor Isles?"

"Because it's so soft and comfortable," Maura replied, neglecting to mention how comforting it felt being wrapped in Jane's familiar scent.

"Right. So you're not doing it to get into my pants, so that's a check for that one too. And who wears hockey jackets? It's jerseys if anything."

"Perhaps it's a typo. And if I wanted to get into your pants wouldn't it make more sense for me to be wearing a pair of them instead of your shirt?" Maura's nose crinkled in thought, in the way that always made Jane smile.

"Yes, of course. That makes much more sense," she added sarcastically.

"Sign number eight: You realize there's whole milk in the fridge – yet you drink skim. " The blonde looked up at her friend. "Perhaps we should change that to, 'You find instant coffee in your house even though you would never serve it to anyone in good conscience.'"

Jane laughed. "Give me a break. I can't always wait for your fancy stuff. Besides I have that weird bee pollen yogurt in my fridge that you like, plus a selection of non-chalky Cabernets."

"Guilty," they both proclaimed at the same moment, before laughing together.

"Sign number nine: He reminds you, 'Hey, isn't next week your Dad's birthday? Should we pick up a bottle of his favorite scotch?'" Maura frowned. "That question is very gender specific."

"Plus no guy is remembering his girlfriend's father's birthday unless he likes Scotch too."

"I did remind you about your mother's birthday last month."

"True. But it's not like I had forgotten it, I had her gift and everything. I just couldn't remember what day it was because of the concussion."

"Sister Winifred apologized for that at least."

Jane scrunched her face up, bared her teeth in her best Sister Winifred impression, and said, "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, if you paid more attention to where you were going, your face wouldn't end up slammed against a door." The detective grunted. "So not an apology."

"Maybe compassion will find its way into her heart once she finishes reading, 'On the Erotic Wings of Love,'" Maura added with a smirk.

Jane laughed. "We can only hope. So, what's the final sign?"

"Sign number ten: He automatically stirs your coffee with his spoon."

"I specifically don't do that because you hate how much sugar I put in my coffee."

"True. But you do spoon me when you sleep over, which is perhaps more telling."

"Got me there, I suppose. So what's our score?"

"Ninety percent, it says that we are officially dating," Maura replied.

"Okay an online quiz is all well and good but we just can't be dating, Maura. I mean we've both been on dates with men, recently even. We can't be dating each other if we're dating them."

"Actually, Jane, that just means that we're not dating each other exclusively."

"Well that's just stupid, because if I was dating you it would be exclusive."

Maura's smile was dazzling. "Really?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Of course. Besides, if we were dating, I'd be kind of upset by the caliber of men you're choosing over me."

"I have excellent taste in men."

Jane narrowed her eyes. "No you don't, you have terrible taste in men, worse than mine, even."

"That's not true."

"Giovanni, Maura! You tried to have sex with a face licker. That's it, end of story, worst taste in men ever."

Maura frowned. "I suppose you're right." She gazed into her best friend's eyes. "Maybe I have better taste in women. I've been dating you after all." she added with a smirk.

"Of course." Jane grinned. "And, not to brag, but I'm way better than any of the men you've dated."

"I agree."

"But as fantastic as I am, we still can't be dating because if we were, you would have broke up with me years ago."

"Jane, that's not true." Maura murmured in response, she couldn't imagine ever dumping the brunette as a friend or a lover.

"It is. You have sex with your dates like...a lot. Not that there is anything wrong with that or anything." She hastily added, "But we've been supposedly dating for years and I haven't put out once. You would have kicked my ass to the curb for that alone."

Maura frowned, considering. "That is an awful long time to go without sex."

"See, that's why we can't be dating," Jane concluded.

"That's a flawed line of reasoning, if we didn't realize we were dating then we wouldn't know that sexual relations were an option. But now that we've realized we are in fact dating, that is no longer the case."

"Wait...what? You think we should have sex?"

"Yes. I think we should test whether we're sexually compatible or not."

"I don't suppose there is a Cosmo quiz for that... is there?"

Maura shook her head. "A kiss is all I need to know."

"Really? Just a kiss? What if I screw it up?"

"If after the first kiss you really feel that you didn't perform to the best of your abilities, then we can try again." The blonde offered with a smile.

"Okay," Jane replied nervously, she was suddenly feeling the sweaty palms they had discounted earlier.

Maura's fingers gently threaded into brunette locks as she tugged her friend a little closer, "Relax..." she whispered against the detective's soft lips, "It's only a kiss," she added, before claiming Jane's lips.

But it wasn't just a kiss for Jane. It was a window into a world she had never dreamed of before. Suddenly every kiss she'd ever shared with Gabriel, Casey, and even Joey Grant paled in comparison to the soft press of Maura's lips against her own. The entire experience was elevated as if she had only been pretending to know what kissing actually was. Her senses were charged, overflowing with everything Maura. The fruity notes of wine and whatever else she could taste that was so damn good it made her head want to spin. The scent of lilac and honey suckle tickled her nose, while the feel of Maura massaging her scalp made her melt. Jane didn't want it to end, the passion of it, the pleasure...but eventually the blonde pulled away for some much needed air.

They starred at each other for a moment, each unconsciously licking their lips before Jane muttered, "Do over," and pushed Maura back into the couch cushions in a tangle of limbs and lips.

French kissing was different too, Jane quickly found out. It wasn't an awkward tangle or a forceful dominance of one over the other. French kissing Maura was like a dance, a tango and even though she didn't know the right steps they were perfect together.

Every time they broke for air, Jane would mutter, "Do over," and they would be launched into another series of passionate kisses.

Until Maura finally pushed her away, claiming, "I need to think."

"No you don't," Jane grumbled before contenting herself with kissing and nipping at the delicate column of the blonde's throat.

Maura's fingers were clenched in Jane's hair but the doctor couldn't decide whether she wanted to pull the detective closer or push her away. She finally decided on the latter and used Jane's shock to scramble off the couch.

But Jane got up off the couch just as quickly. "Come on Maura", she whined, "You can't tell me that kiss...I mean those kisses didn't tell you what you needed to know. Hell they were a revelation for me."

Maura quickly put the kitchen island between them. "Jane we should discuss this, make sure we're on the same page."

Jane rolled her eyes. "What's there to talk about? I want to make love to my best friend; apparently she's my girlfriend too. We've waited way way too long as it is, don't you think?"

"Really? You believe me?" Maura asked hesitantly.

"Yes! And we should be K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing up a tree right now. So why are you stopping us?"

Maura bit her lip. "I've never had sex with a woman before."

"Well neither have I," the brunette responded, rounding the kitchen island.

"What if I don't do it right? Maybe we should do some research before we attempt it? I'm sure there are several informative videos on the Internet..."

The blonde was cut off by a husky chuckle. "I think we can figure it out on our own. Besides we can learn together, learn from each other." Jane murmured, giving the blonde a soft smile.

"Perhaps your right...I just don't want things to change between us."

"Didn't you tell me once that change is inevitable?" Maura nodded and Jane continued, "And our relationship will change, but it will only get better. I promise. Besides the intimacy and the romance there's also great things like make up sex." The detective wiggled her brows suggestively.

Maura can't help but laugh. Still she wondered, "Why do you think it took us this long to get here?"

The brunette shrugged, "I don't know, but thank god for Cosmo quizzes or we may never have figured it out."

Maura chuckled a little before letting out a deep breath. "I think I've been waiting all my life for you, Jane."

Jane kissed her, softly, slowly, "Then I won't keep you waiting a minute longer."

Maura's fingers interlaced through her partner's, tugging Jane towards her bedroom. She didn't want to wait even a second longer.


End file.
